I know Tom is happy and I know that I am not happy. I miss him. I didn't get to say
good-bye and thank him for loving me and my boys. He loved me. He told me so every
day. I loved him. I told him everyday. I was his princess. I was very high maintenance, but I didn't think I was. Tom loved my boys, by loving their Mom, like she has never been loved before.
Tom and I met on eharmony back in August 2005. Ours was a fairy tale from the very beginning. I knew he was special from the very beginning. I liked what he said about
women and family before I ever laid eyes on him. He was looking for a lady to treat well, and that was very family oriented. My family is the most important thing to me
now and it was back then. Tom adored his Mom and Dad. They say you can tell a lot about a man by the way he treats his Mother. Enough said.....He loved her with all of his heart and he loved his Dad with all of his heart as well. His Daddy passed away in March 2009 and I don't think Tom's heart ever healed. I worry about Tom's Mom, as burying her son and husband in one year's time has really taken a toll on her
heart. No one should ever have to bury a child. Tom was her baby.
Tom was true to his word and knew how to treat a lady. He knew how to love. He knew
how to show love. He loved me enough to sell his house in Jefferson, Georgia and buy
his bride and two sons a house close to my work and the kids' schools. I have made that house into a home with pictures and furniture and paint and Tom's money. He would fuss about spending money, but loved seeing me happy, and we had the money to spend at the time. He very seldom told me "no". I think he was afraid to tell me "no" for fear it would change our relationship. I spent our entire marriage assuring him that I was here for the longterm. There were no "dealbreakers" in our
relationship. Now...I am left with this beautiful home that we created together and he isn't here to share it with me. I must say though that the house brings me much comfort and reminds me of Tom, and I have very happy memories in our home.
I still have a long road ahead of me. We were supposed to have our 4th anniversary
July 15th. I think we were going to Chateau Elan. We spent our wedding night there
and had a fabulous time. We had always talked about going back there.
I miss him so much.
Monday, June 14, 2010
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Finally, someone with the hospital does in fact confirm that Tom is dead. I can't tell you what happens next, because I can't remember. I knew that I had to get word
to Tom's family and my family. My first call was to my pastor. His first priority was the boys and I, and getting someone from the ship to come assist us. My second
call was to my Mom and she said they would get word to Tom's family. My pastor had a
Carnival rep with us within a very short time. They took very good care of us until the boys and I could be reunited with our family. Tom passed away on Monday, April 5
and we arrived home Thursday evening, April 8th. We buried Thomas H. Bailey on
April 11th, one week before his 47th birthday. I miss him everyday.
I didn't get to say good-bye. The Mexican coroner made sure of that. They did such a poor job preparing the body that our Tom was barely recognizable. We know in fact that it was in deed our Tom because the undertaker was a Bailey family friend and knew the family well. He advised myself and Tom's brothers not to view Tom's body because he looked so bad. I am glad that I listened to Tom's brothers and the undertaker. I think I made the right choice.
It has been two months since Tom passed away. We will never know what truly happened
and I have to be okay with that. I only hope he didn't suffer and he didn't feel like he was alone. I know he's happy. How can he not be? He's with Jesus.
to Tom's family and my family. My first call was to my pastor. His first priority was the boys and I, and getting someone from the ship to come assist us. My second
call was to my Mom and she said they would get word to Tom's family. My pastor had a
Carnival rep with us within a very short time. They took very good care of us until the boys and I could be reunited with our family. Tom passed away on Monday, April 5
and we arrived home Thursday evening, April 8th. We buried Thomas H. Bailey on
April 11th, one week before his 47th birthday. I miss him everyday.
I didn't get to say good-bye. The Mexican coroner made sure of that. They did such a poor job preparing the body that our Tom was barely recognizable. We know in fact that it was in deed our Tom because the undertaker was a Bailey family friend and knew the family well. He advised myself and Tom's brothers not to view Tom's body because he looked so bad. I am glad that I listened to Tom's brothers and the undertaker. I think I made the right choice.
It has been two months since Tom passed away. We will never know what truly happened
and I have to be okay with that. I only hope he didn't suffer and he didn't feel like he was alone. I know he's happy. How can he not be? He's with Jesus.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
In the blink of an eye, my life as I know it was forever changed....They (whoever they were) wanted me to go with Thomas and leave the kids with someone else. They
couldn't tell me where we were going, but I knew one thing, I was not going anywhere
without my two boys. We were going to stay together, no matter what. I had spoken to my pastor and I did feel peace in my heart. I knew my pastor and church family were praying for us and that is where the peace came from, this I know.
An ambulance shows up to take us to where they are taking Thomas. They ask us if
we want to go to the hospital and rest or go where Thomas is? I tell them to take us
where Thomas is. Off we go....It was 100 degrees in the back of the ambulance and the boys and I do not say a word. The ambulance is going very fast and the motor keeps dying, but we are at peace because God is with us. They checked my vitals and I was fine. Please...just get us to Thomas. The ambulance ride took forever and felt like we were on a roller coaster at times, but we were at peace. They finally
tell us we are going to the hospital and rest and wait on Thomas to get there with us. This made no sense, but nothing made sense to me at this time.
We finally arrive at a hospital in Cozumel and they try to treat me as the patient.
Trevor tries to explain what had happened and I was not the patient and that we were
waiting on Thomas to get here from the island. They had no idea who Thomas was or why we were at a hospital in Cozumel. My head was spinning and I was stuck in Cozumel, Mexico and I am pretty sure my husband was dead, but no one would tell me this. I had never been more scared in my life, than I was at that very moment.
couldn't tell me where we were going, but I knew one thing, I was not going anywhere
without my two boys. We were going to stay together, no matter what. I had spoken to my pastor and I did feel peace in my heart. I knew my pastor and church family were praying for us and that is where the peace came from, this I know.
An ambulance shows up to take us to where they are taking Thomas. They ask us if
we want to go to the hospital and rest or go where Thomas is? I tell them to take us
where Thomas is. Off we go....It was 100 degrees in the back of the ambulance and the boys and I do not say a word. The ambulance is going very fast and the motor keeps dying, but we are at peace because God is with us. They checked my vitals and I was fine. Please...just get us to Thomas. The ambulance ride took forever and felt like we were on a roller coaster at times, but we were at peace. They finally
tell us we are going to the hospital and rest and wait on Thomas to get there with us. This made no sense, but nothing made sense to me at this time.
We finally arrive at a hospital in Cozumel and they try to treat me as the patient.
Trevor tries to explain what had happened and I was not the patient and that we were
waiting on Thomas to get here from the island. They had no idea who Thomas was or why we were at a hospital in Cozumel. My head was spinning and I was stuck in Cozumel, Mexico and I am pretty sure my husband was dead, but no one would tell me this. I had never been more scared in my life, than I was at that very moment.
Saturday, June 5, 2010
Today is June 5th and it has been two months since our world has been forever changed. It
started out as an ordinary day on the ship, with the exception that we had to get totally ready,
sunscreen and all, before heading to breakfast. The family was leaving the ship to go on our
first excursion to a remote beach somewhere near Cozumel. Trevor and Tom were planning on
trying a beginners snorkeling class and Carter and I were going to play on the beach. After Tom
and Trevor got back from snorkeling we were all going to enjoy an authentic Mexican lunch together.
We ate breakfast together as normal. Tom didn't eat much and was very quiet, but I didn't give
it much thought. He was not a fan of waiting on himself and he was often quiet while eating.
Getting off the ship in Cozumel was kind of a fiasco, but we survived. When we left the ship, we had lots of people wanting to take our pictures and luckily we allowed them to do so, as these would be our last pictures that we would have made together.
We find where we are supposed to be for our excursion, I think. It was very poorly organized and I felt a little uneasy. I talked myself out of the uneasiness by telling myself that I had booked this trip through Carnival and we would be fine. When it comes time to board the boat, I don't feel any better. The boat is gross and doesn't look like it has been serviced in years. Nonetheless we board the boat,
put on our lifejackets, which were gross as well, missing some of the ties.
The boat ride was fine. The ride took us about 40 minutes. We were literally out in the middle of nowhere. We get to the island which was very pretty. There were
beach chairs, hammocks, and clean bathroom facilities.
The guide gives Tom and Trevor and the others instructions on snorkeling. He said it was a beginners class and they would not be going that far out and they would be on foot. There appeared to be three "chaperones" with the group in kayaks. I felt
better and really wasn't concerned at all.
Tom and Trevor left on foot and I assumed they would return shortly. The time went
by quickly because I immediately realized that Carter had to be watched constantly because he had found a friend that must be related to Evil Knievel because he was doing all kinds of dangerous stuff. I finally got Carter settled with a snack and some water and was able to relax a bit. Wel....in relaxing I realized that my Tom
and Trev were waaaaaaay out in the ocean and I began pacing the beach. I was getting nervous. I saw people beginning to walk/swim back and I began to feel a little more at ease. I saw a couple of people that I thought were Tom, but they
weren't. I finally saw my Trevor coming ashore and breathed a little easier. People
were still finding their way to shore and I kept looking for my Thomas. The last person in was the "guide".....no Tom. I told this guide that he was missing somebody....where is my husband? He said, "We not missing anybody". I said, "YES, YOU ARE!!!! WHERE IS MY HUSBAND?" He argued with me some more and told me he must be in the bathroom. I ran and yelled in the bathroom, but there was no answer. I
asked Trevor to go in the bathroom and check. He checked....no Tom. Trevor began
running down shore in the opposite direction thinking that maybe he was at the other end of the island because they looked alike. No one from the excursion was moving. Everyone was just standing around. Some guy that was on the excursion from
The Dream sprinted after Trevor to assist him. The guide finally took the speed boat out to look for my Tom, but he wasn't even close to where Tom could have been.
I finally got word that they had found Tom. I was thrilled!!!! They failed to mention that he wasn't breathing.....I saw Trevor walking back, without Tom. The
guy from The Dream that had followed Trevor was running past Trevor. I began to run
towards Trevor, but met the other guy first and he said for me to get down there. I
see Trevor a few feet away kneeling in the sand with his hands up in the air. He was asking God for Prayer.
They would not let me near Tom. They were administering CPR to no avail. I kept looking up for a helicopter to land and take my Prince to a hospital and save his life. I was not going home without my husband. I just wasn't.
They made me sit down. I asked them for a phone. I asked them for a phone again. I started yelling for a phone. They just stared. Trevor asked them to please get her a phone. They still stared. They offered me tequila. I said, "I need a phone to call my pastor. He has a direct line to God and he can help me." They finally
got me a phone and I was able to talk to my pastor. He did not understand a word I said, except that there had been a terrible accident and Thomas was hurt. No, Thomas was not hurt. My Prince, Thomas H. Bailey was dead and I was in the middle of no where with my two boys and I had to call his family and tell them their son and brother, uncle, and son-in-law, friend, co-worker, etc...was not coming home with us.
Our lives were spinning out of control and I was alone in Mexico with my two precious boys.
started out as an ordinary day on the ship, with the exception that we had to get totally ready,
sunscreen and all, before heading to breakfast. The family was leaving the ship to go on our
first excursion to a remote beach somewhere near Cozumel. Trevor and Tom were planning on
trying a beginners snorkeling class and Carter and I were going to play on the beach. After Tom
and Trevor got back from snorkeling we were all going to enjoy an authentic Mexican lunch together.
We ate breakfast together as normal. Tom didn't eat much and was very quiet, but I didn't give
it much thought. He was not a fan of waiting on himself and he was often quiet while eating.
Getting off the ship in Cozumel was kind of a fiasco, but we survived. When we left the ship, we had lots of people wanting to take our pictures and luckily we allowed them to do so, as these would be our last pictures that we would have made together.
We find where we are supposed to be for our excursion, I think. It was very poorly organized and I felt a little uneasy. I talked myself out of the uneasiness by telling myself that I had booked this trip through Carnival and we would be fine. When it comes time to board the boat, I don't feel any better. The boat is gross and doesn't look like it has been serviced in years. Nonetheless we board the boat,
put on our lifejackets, which were gross as well, missing some of the ties.
The boat ride was fine. The ride took us about 40 minutes. We were literally out in the middle of nowhere. We get to the island which was very pretty. There were
beach chairs, hammocks, and clean bathroom facilities.
The guide gives Tom and Trevor and the others instructions on snorkeling. He said it was a beginners class and they would not be going that far out and they would be on foot. There appeared to be three "chaperones" with the group in kayaks. I felt
better and really wasn't concerned at all.
Tom and Trevor left on foot and I assumed they would return shortly. The time went
by quickly because I immediately realized that Carter had to be watched constantly because he had found a friend that must be related to Evil Knievel because he was doing all kinds of dangerous stuff. I finally got Carter settled with a snack and some water and was able to relax a bit. Wel....in relaxing I realized that my Tom
and Trev were waaaaaaay out in the ocean and I began pacing the beach. I was getting nervous. I saw people beginning to walk/swim back and I began to feel a little more at ease. I saw a couple of people that I thought were Tom, but they
weren't. I finally saw my Trevor coming ashore and breathed a little easier. People
were still finding their way to shore and I kept looking for my Thomas. The last person in was the "guide".....no Tom. I told this guide that he was missing somebody....where is my husband? He said, "We not missing anybody". I said, "YES, YOU ARE!!!! WHERE IS MY HUSBAND?" He argued with me some more and told me he must be in the bathroom. I ran and yelled in the bathroom, but there was no answer. I
asked Trevor to go in the bathroom and check. He checked....no Tom. Trevor began
running down shore in the opposite direction thinking that maybe he was at the other end of the island because they looked alike. No one from the excursion was moving. Everyone was just standing around. Some guy that was on the excursion from
The Dream sprinted after Trevor to assist him. The guide finally took the speed boat out to look for my Tom, but he wasn't even close to where Tom could have been.
I finally got word that they had found Tom. I was thrilled!!!! They failed to mention that he wasn't breathing.....I saw Trevor walking back, without Tom. The
guy from The Dream that had followed Trevor was running past Trevor. I began to run
towards Trevor, but met the other guy first and he said for me to get down there. I
see Trevor a few feet away kneeling in the sand with his hands up in the air. He was asking God for Prayer.
They would not let me near Tom. They were administering CPR to no avail. I kept looking up for a helicopter to land and take my Prince to a hospital and save his life. I was not going home without my husband. I just wasn't.
They made me sit down. I asked them for a phone. I asked them for a phone again. I started yelling for a phone. They just stared. Trevor asked them to please get her a phone. They still stared. They offered me tequila. I said, "I need a phone to call my pastor. He has a direct line to God and he can help me." They finally
got me a phone and I was able to talk to my pastor. He did not understand a word I said, except that there had been a terrible accident and Thomas was hurt. No, Thomas was not hurt. My Prince, Thomas H. Bailey was dead and I was in the middle of no where with my two boys and I had to call his family and tell them their son and brother, uncle, and son-in-law, friend, co-worker, etc...was not coming home with us.
Our lives were spinning out of control and I was alone in Mexico with my two precious boys.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Sometime during our first day at sea I managed to visit the casino one more time, but swiped my
Sail and Sign card a few more times....Long story short...I think I was down about $100. I shared this information with Thomas, but I don't know if he was listening. I tell you this because
on Monday, April 5 we were stopping in Cozumel for our first "excursion" in cruise lingo. We were to be back on the ship by 5:30PM, as we were set to sail at 6:00PM. Our plan was to have
dinner together as a family and then Thomas and I were going to head back to the casino. I needed to try and win some of Thomas' money back. I wanted to be on the plus side when we
left the ship on April 10th, which was in 5 short days.
left the ship on April 10th, which was in 5 short days.
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