I know Tom is happy and I know that I am not happy. I miss him. I didn't get to say
good-bye and thank him for loving me and my boys. He loved me. He told me so every
day. I loved him. I told him everyday. I was his princess. I was very high maintenance, but I didn't think I was. Tom loved my boys, by loving their Mom, like she has never been loved before.


Tom and I met on eharmony back in August 2005. Ours was a fairy tale from the very beginning. I knew he was special from the very beginning. I liked what he said about
women and family before I ever laid eyes on him. He was looking for a lady to treat well, and that was very family oriented. My family is the most important thing to me
now and it was back then. Tom adored his Mom and Dad. They say you can tell a lot about a man by the way he treats his Mother. Enough said.....He loved her with all of his heart and he loved his Dad with all of his heart as well. His Daddy passed away in March 2009 and I don't think Tom's heart ever healed. I worry about Tom's Mom, as burying her son and husband in one year's time has really taken a toll on her
heart. No one should ever have to bury a child. Tom was her baby.


Tom was true to his word and knew how to treat a lady. He knew how to love. He knew
how to show love. He loved me enough to sell his house in Jefferson, Georgia and buy
his bride and two sons a house close to my work and the kids' schools. I have made that house into a home with pictures and furniture and paint and Tom's money. He would fuss about spending money, but loved seeing me happy, and we had the money to spend at the time. He very seldom told me "no". I think he was afraid to tell me "no" for fear it would change our relationship. I spent our entire marriage assuring him that I was here for the longterm. There were no "dealbreakers" in our
relationship. Now...I am left with this beautiful home that we created together and he isn't here to share it with me. I must say though that the house brings me much comfort and reminds me of Tom, and I have very happy memories in our home.


I still have a long road ahead of me. We were supposed to have our 4th anniversary
July 15th. I think we were going to Chateau Elan. We spent our wedding night there
and had a fabulous time. We had always talked about going back there.


I miss him so much.

Finally, someone with the hospital does in fact confirm that Tom is dead. I can't tell you what happens next, because I can't remember. I knew that I had to get word
to Tom's family and my family. My first call was to my pastor. His first priority was the boys and I, and getting someone from the ship to come assist us. My second
call was to my Mom and she said they would get word to Tom's family. My pastor had a
Carnival rep with us within a very short time. They took very good care of us until the boys and I could be reunited with our family. Tom passed away on Monday, April 5
and we arrived home Thursday evening, April 8th. We buried Thomas H. Bailey on
April 11th, one week before his 47th birthday. I miss him everyday.


I didn't get to say good-bye. The Mexican coroner made sure of that. They did such a poor job preparing the body that our Tom was barely recognizable. We know in fact that it was in deed our Tom because the undertaker was a Bailey family friend and knew the family well. He advised myself and Tom's brothers not to view Tom's body because he looked so bad. I am glad that I listened to Tom's brothers and the undertaker. I think I made the right choice.


It has been two months since Tom passed away. We will never know what truly happened
and I have to be okay with that. I only hope he didn't suffer and he didn't feel like he was alone. I know he's happy. How can he not be? He's with Jesus.

In the blink of an eye, my life as I know it was forever changed....They (whoever they were) wanted me to go with Thomas and leave the kids with someone else. They
couldn't tell me where we were going, but I knew one thing, I was not going anywhere
without my two boys. We were going to stay together, no matter what. I had spoken to my pastor and I did feel peace in my heart. I knew my pastor and church family were praying for us and that is where the peace came from, this I know.

An ambulance shows up to take us to where they are taking Thomas. They ask us if
we want to go to the hospital and rest or go where Thomas is? I tell them to take us
where Thomas is. Off we go....It was 100 degrees in the back of the ambulance and the boys and I do not say a word. The ambulance is going very fast and the motor keeps dying, but we are at peace because God is with us. They checked my vitals and I was fine. Please...just get us to Thomas. The ambulance ride took forever and felt like we were on a roller coaster at times, but we were at peace. They finally
tell us we are going to the hospital and rest and wait on Thomas to get there with us. This made no sense, but nothing made sense to me at this time.

We finally arrive at a hospital in Cozumel and they try to treat me as the patient.
Trevor tries to explain what had happened and I was not the patient and that we were
waiting on Thomas to get here from the island. They had no idea who Thomas was or why we were at a hospital in Cozumel. My head was spinning and I was stuck in Cozumel, Mexico and I am pretty sure my husband was dead, but no one would tell me this. I had never been more scared in my life, than I was at that very moment.

Today is June 5th and it has been two months since our world has been forever changed. It
started out as an ordinary day on the ship, with the exception that we had to get totally ready,
sunscreen and all, before heading to breakfast. The family was leaving the ship to go on our
first excursion to a remote beach somewhere near Cozumel. Trevor and Tom were planning on
trying a beginners snorkeling class and Carter and I were going to play on the beach. After Tom
and Trevor got back from snorkeling we were all going to enjoy an authentic Mexican lunch together.

We ate breakfast together as normal. Tom didn't eat much and was very quiet, but I didn't give
it much thought. He was not a fan of waiting on himself and he was often quiet while eating.
Getting off the ship in Cozumel was kind of a fiasco, but we survived. When we left the ship, we had lots of people wanting to take our pictures and luckily we allowed them to do so, as these would be our last pictures that we would have made together.

We find where we are supposed to be for our excursion, I think. It was very poorly organized and I felt a little uneasy. I talked myself out of the uneasiness by telling myself that I had booked this trip through Carnival and we would be fine. When it comes time to board the boat, I don't feel any better. The boat is gross and doesn't look like it has been serviced in years. Nonetheless we board the boat,
put on our lifejackets, which were gross as well, missing some of the ties.

The boat ride was fine. The ride took us about 40 minutes. We were literally out in the middle of nowhere. We get to the island which was very pretty. There were
beach chairs, hammocks, and clean bathroom facilities.

The guide gives Tom and Trevor and the others instructions on snorkeling. He said it was a beginners class and they would not be going that far out and they would be on foot. There appeared to be three "chaperones" with the group in kayaks. I felt
better and really wasn't concerned at all.

Tom and Trevor left on foot and I assumed they would return shortly. The time went
by quickly because I immediately realized that Carter had to be watched constantly because he had found a friend that must be related to Evil Knievel because he was doing all kinds of dangerous stuff. I finally got Carter settled with a snack and some water and was able to relax a bit. Wel....in relaxing I realized that my Tom
and Trev were waaaaaaay out in the ocean and I began pacing the beach. I was getting nervous. I saw people beginning to walk/swim back and I began to feel a little more at ease. I saw a couple of people that I thought were Tom, but they
weren't. I finally saw my Trevor coming ashore and breathed a little easier. People
were still finding their way to shore and I kept looking for my Thomas. The last person in was the "guide".....no Tom. I told this guide that he was missing somebody....where is my husband? He said, "We not missing anybody". I said, "YES, YOU ARE!!!! WHERE IS MY HUSBAND?" He argued with me some more and told me he must be in the bathroom. I ran and yelled in the bathroom, but there was no answer. I
asked Trevor to go in the bathroom and check. He checked....no Tom. Trevor began
running down shore in the opposite direction thinking that maybe he was at the other end of the island because they looked alike. No one from the excursion was moving. Everyone was just standing around. Some guy that was on the excursion from
The Dream sprinted after Trevor to assist him. The guide finally took the speed boat out to look for my Tom, but he wasn't even close to where Tom could have been.


I finally got word that they had found Tom. I was thrilled!!!! They failed to mention that he wasn't breathing.....I saw Trevor walking back, without Tom. The
guy from The Dream that had followed Trevor was running past Trevor. I began to run
towards Trevor, but met the other guy first and he said for me to get down there. I
see Trevor a few feet away kneeling in the sand with his hands up in the air. He was asking God for Prayer.


They would not let me near Tom. They were administering CPR to no avail. I kept looking up for a helicopter to land and take my Prince to a hospital and save his life. I was not going home without my husband. I just wasn't.

They made me sit down. I asked them for a phone. I asked them for a phone again. I started yelling for a phone. They just stared. Trevor asked them to please get her a phone. They still stared. They offered me tequila. I said, "I need a phone to call my pastor. He has a direct line to God and he can help me." They finally
got me a phone and I was able to talk to my pastor. He did not understand a word I said, except that there had been a terrible accident and Thomas was hurt. No, Thomas was not hurt. My Prince, Thomas H. Bailey was dead and I was in the middle of no where with my two boys and I had to call his family and tell them their son and brother, uncle, and son-in-law, friend, co-worker, etc...was not coming home with us.

Our lives were spinning out of control and I was alone in Mexico with my two precious boys.

Sometime during our first day at sea I managed to visit the casino one more time, but swiped my

Sail and Sign card a few more times....Long story short...I think I was down about $100. I shared this information with Thomas, but I don't know if he was listening. I tell you this because

on Monday, April 5 we were stopping in Cozumel for our first "excursion" in cruise lingo. We were to be back on the ship by 5:30PM, as we were set to sail at 6:00PM. Our plan was to have

dinner together as a family and then Thomas and I were going to head back to the casino. I needed to try and win some of Thomas' money back. I wanted to be on the plus side when we
left the ship on April 10th, which was in 5 short days.

Our first day at sea was a lot of fun. Tom and Trevor slept in and Carter and I got up early and

ate breakfast. Going to eat early is the key to not having to wait in line. We learned this because

Carter and I went to breakfast later that morning with Tom and Trev because we were trying to

be "together" as much as we could and the lines were way long. Tom hates to wait, especially for

food that was mediocre at best. You could get food cooked to order, but those lines were even

longer. Carter took this opportunity to have ice cream for his second breakfast. We all agreed that ice cream was suitable for anytime of day, after all we were on vacation. There were really no rules except where safety was an issue.

The four of us hung out by the pool and basically people watched and kept an eye on Carter. Tom had a fancy drink by the pool and Trev had a strawberry smoothie and I just kept the diet coke

flowing. I had gotten my Sail and Sign card stamped with an unlimited soda sticker that said I could have all the soda I wanted, with the exception that it was one glass at a time. This would prove to be significant in a couple of days. Trevor had gotten his card stamped as well. You could have all the lemonade, coffee, and tea you wanted, but soda was different. I believe we

paid around $80.00 to have as much soda as we wanted on the cruise.

I sent Tom to get his some lunch mid afternoon. I wanted pizza and he said that was fine with him, so off my prince went to get his princess some pizza. He came back shortly and said the line was too long and he wasn't waiting. I told him that I had to find something to eat and he

asked if I would get him something too. There was a little deli right behind us that didn't have

but a few people in line, so I went to get in line. I asked Tom to look at the menu and tell me what he wanted, and I would get it for him. He looked in the wrong place and said he wanted no part of the deli and he was going to find a hamburger. I didn't argue with him. I just should

have gotten him something and not even asked him. He loved to be taken care of in that way. I

prayed for a husband that I could take care of and cook for, etc....God sent my Thomas H. to me.

He was exactly what I wanted in a husband. God just missed a couple of "footnotes" that I neglected to put in my prayer. Nonetheless.....I got my lunch, which was quite good and I had

already finished by the time Tom got back with his burger and fries. He said it was good and we continued on with our afternoon. Carter had found a friend and they had gone to the ship's

arcade to play some video games. Trevor had gone exploring on the ship. Tom said he was going to check out the ship's casino and asked me to join him. So, off we went......

We get to the casino and Tom puts $20.00 on each of our Sail and Sign cards. I wanted to play the slot machines and he wanted to check things out. I sit down at the slot machine and I am immediately hooked, before I knew it I was ahead by $40.00. It was so much fun. I checked on

Tom and he had found a blackjack table and he was totally in his element. He was so serious---boring....I tried to talk to him, but I could tell I was a nuisance and now was not the time to learn the rules of poker. I found another one or two slot machines and ended up losing my winnings. I think I swiped my card a couple more times and played some more, won some more. lost some more, etc......By this time the kids were back and were ready for me to leave the casino and do something else, so we left Tom and went back to the room. Tom came back a little bit later (30 min.) and we began discussing the plans for the evening. The dinner dress on

Sunday was formal and I had chosen for us not to do the formal nights. I think Tom and Trev

were disappointed, but there wasn't anything I could do at this point. Carter had expressed an

interest earlier in the day that he wanted to do something together as a "family". This would

prove to be very significant in less than 24 hours. Tom and Trev wanted to attend a comedy

show that night. It was Tom's idea for all of us to go to the show together. He thought Carter

and I would enjoy the comedy act too. The whole family was on board and all of us thoroughly enjoyed the show. Tom laughed like he has never laughed before. Carter loved it, Trevor loved it, and I loved watching my family enjoy themselves. I felt so blessed and life was so good, and our trip was just beginning and we had so much more ahead of us.

Eight weeks ago, about this same time, my husband and my two boys, set out on our first cruise together for a Spring Break vacation that would change our lives forever. The boys were mine

from a previous marriage, but Thomas considered them his as well. We had driven down to

Valdosta from our home in Buford on Friday, April 2nd to split the trip in half. We got up early the next morning and drove to Port Canaveral to catch the Carnival Dream. Our trip down to

catch the ship was uneventful, until we actually saw the ship. I was tired from the drive and just

cranky, because no one knew where to go, and expected Mom to figure it out. I fussed and was

cross with Thomas because he was of no help. I wish I hadn't been "cross" with him, but I was.

Nonetheless, we found our way onto the Dream and she met all of our expectations. She was

beautiful, just as promised.

Our accommodations were very small, but we did have a small balcony that we could escape to if the quarters became too close. I thought Thomas and I could escape at night and sit out there and chat. Thomas loved to talk when you could get him away from the TV. Little did I know,

we would never get a chance to sit out on the balcony because in about 48 hours our lives were

going to be changed forever.

We had our first dinner on the ship Saturday night. Again, I was cranky with Thomas, which I

regret once again. I had been recovering from major surgery since February 2010 and I think

I really was just "overtired" and just needed some rest and relaxation and that's what this trip was going to be all about for the whole family, but especially Thomas and I. The ship's photo

person came around to take some candid shots and Thomas didn't even want to be in the picture due to my bad attitude. I told him I want the whole family in the photo and to get in the picture, so

he scooted over and we got our picture made. That would prove to be one of our last family pictures. All was well with dinner and Tom and Trevor

went to watch some basketball on the big screen and I took Carter back to the cabin and put him to bed.

Tom and Trevor came back to the cabin after the game and the three of us had some laughs as

Thomas tried to negotiate the cabin in the dark amidst all of our luggage. At home he would have just flipped on all of the lights. He made it into bed without harm. God was definitely looking out for him. We had a good nights sleep and woke up ready for our first day at sea on

the Carnival Dream. Life was good.